i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hell yes lets make some ravioli
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
