its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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