I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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