I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
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I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
BRING THE BAGELS
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My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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