you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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