No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize