it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
