I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
