We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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