I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
