he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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