Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
