I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize