atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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