bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
