We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She even gives head with a lisp.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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