Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
