Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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