OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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