dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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