I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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