Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize