piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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