I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
