Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
