so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
