You just made me feel so damn special
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
