Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
