I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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