And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
