You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
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