The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
