i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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