that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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