Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize