No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
