Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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