Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
