Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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