a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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