Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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