Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
