You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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