You work out of a Hotel?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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