In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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