do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
