If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
