My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
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Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize