Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
