There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
