OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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