would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
