dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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