Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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