If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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