Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize