I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
