cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
