So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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