They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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